Programmers don't die, they GOSUB without RETURN.
(Found in a signature in www.rubyforen.de)
Programmer: A biological machine designed to convert caffeine into code.
(Found in a signature in www.rubyforen.de)
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
C. A. R. Hoare
If the code was hard to write, I'm going to damn well make it hard to read!
Dimator, on Slashdot
Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.
Edward V. Berard
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.
Rick Cook (NASA)
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Bjarne Stroustrup
Managing programmers is like trying to herd cats.
Greg Settle
$cd /pub
$more beer
Found on T-Shirt
Alcohol and calculus don't mix... Don't drink and derive.
The great thing about standards is that there are so many of them...
Personalization: the automatic tailoring of sites and messages to the individuals viewing them so that we can feel that somewhere there's a piece of software that loves us for who we are.
David Weinberger, JOHO
Weeks of coding can save you hours of planning.
An ironic "Microsoft Solution Framework" course attender
Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There's always one more bug.
If at first you don't succeed, add 1 to any integer variable.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
Useless facts
Tips to make your life and reality more computer-adapted:
- Doubleclick all buttons
- Put bookmarks on your favourite locations
- Check your mailbox every 10 minutes
- Start a newsgroup at the noteboard of your local supermarket
- Recover things from the trashbin that you regret you threw away
- When you show emotions, turn your head vertically and make faces
- When something goes wrong during the day, reboot: go home, go to sleep and start over :-)
Java technology is not fault tolerant and is not designed, manufactured, or intended for use or resale as online control equipment in hazardous environments [...] in which the failure of Java technology could lead directly to death, personal injury, or severe physical or environmental damage.
Microsoft IIS license
A friend of mine in a compiler writing class produced a compiler with one error message "you lied to me when you told me this was a program"
Consistently separating words by spaces became a general custom about the tenth century A.D., and lasted until about 1957, when FORTRAN abandoned the practice.
Sun FORTRAN Reference Manual
0x2B | ~0x2B
Hamlet
There are only 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don´t
(unknown)
As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs.
Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging in 1949
Telling computer guys that they need to have permission to quote things is like having to tell little children about Death.
Ted Nelson
One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Robert Firth
